 Merry Chistmas to all......
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"Merry Christmas to all................"
Santa Claus sat down with his mail bags and decided to see what the pro cycling community had asked for for Christmas.
"Funny, I never had a letter from a bone before. But here is one from Cadel Evan's collarbone. And all it asks for is to remain whole and unbroken for the whole year. Well, I'll do my part, but the young man will have to do his part, too!"
"Oh, dear, now I have the same wish from a lot of people -- Ullrich, Armstrong, Millar, Bettini, and more! -- all asking for the same thing: an Olympic gold metal! And some of them want 2 medals, or even 3! How greedy! Well, I'll decide who gets what, but they'll just have to be patient and wait until August to see how I have decided."
"Well, I'll be. I just had a letter from a bone, and now here's one from a whole skeleton! It says, 'Hello, Santa, we are Tyler Hamilton's bones and we want to make it through one whole three-week tour without any of us breaking!' Well, that's a tough order, when you consider the young man's history, but I'll see what I can do."
"Now here's a letter from all the track riders. They ask me to keep the road racers from thinking they can pick up easy Olympic medals on the track. Well, maybe those road fellows should put themselves up against those who make their living that way -- a little humiliation is sometimes not a bad thing!"
"Here are some wishes that I'm sorry I can't fulfill. They are from the families of Denis Zanette, Andrei Kivilev, Lauri Aus, Fabrice Salanson and Jose Maria Jiminez, and all they want is -- to know why. There's nothing that I or anyone else can give them to ease their pain or mend their broken hearts. I hope that the gift of time and the loving thoughts of all those connected with cycling will help them cope with their losses and get on with their lives."
"The Spanish fans ask for a scorecard to keep track of who's who and who's where. There were so many changes this off-season -- in team names, sponsors, and rider transfers -- that that's the only way to remember it all. As the Americans say, You can't tell the players without a scorecard!"
"This one is a joint request from the organizers of the Giro and the Vuelta. They ask that Mario Cipollini ride their races to the very end. Sorry, guys, I can do lots of things, but that is just impossible!"
"Finally, here's a wish from all cycling fans around the world -- they want an even more exciting and suspensful Tour de France, even better than this year's! That's a wish I'll be happy to grant. The 2004 Tour will be best in a long time! Who knows -- maybe I'll hitch Rudolph up and pop down to France to watch a bit of the race during my off-season!"
And so Santa packed up his gifts for the cyclists and fans, saying, "Merry Christmas to all....
.... and to all a good night!"
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Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
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@ tick 
